All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
