Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
