We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she peed on how many people?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize