I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
