Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
