I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
