fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
