i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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