You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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