We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
