He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
