I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
