Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
