We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
