Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
