so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
