that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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