I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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