I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
