oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
