from now on my penis is your penis
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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