I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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