I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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