Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
