My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize