highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize