I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
