Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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