I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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