Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
