i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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