How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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