i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
