11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
