Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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