We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
