She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize