at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
