ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
