Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
