Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
