bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
