I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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