is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
