the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize