I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
