Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
ugly people sure do ruin things
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
