Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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