no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
