I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize