Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
