...so i touched it.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
This is classic penis vs brain.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
