Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
