If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize